Chris Moody’s Blog

The John Stewart Limericks were also written on the fly in an IM session with the afore mentioned “Sally”. I imagine our conversation probably went a little something like this:

Sally: hey, write me a limerick about Jon Stewart.
Sally: please?
Chris: ummm…..

So anyway, these are the results. I don’t think she was pleased.

Jon Stewart Limerick #1
©2002 Christopher M. Moody

There once was a Stewart named Jon,
Whose fan base was particularly strong,
But though he might flirt,
with all things in a skirt,
He’d never cheat, cause that’s wrong!

Jon Stewart Limerick #2
©2002 Christopher M. Moody

There once was a girl with an obsession,
of making Jon Stewart her possession.
but his passive resistance
of not acknowledging her existence
sent her into deep depression.

Feline Sentry was written when a friend was feeling down during her final year at college. The brain damaged feline is based on her actual cat.

Feline Sentry
©2001 Christopher M. Moody

In a one room apartment that is guarded by cats
a tortured girl struggles to comprehend stats.
But her attention is not focused on the homework at hand
and instead on a life that is not as she planned.
Though she knows in her mind, this fits in His scheme
her emotions rebel at the loss of a dream.
“Why God? Why me?” she asks of the ceiling
“What am I to learn from this horrible feeling?”
Silence unfortunately is her only reply
so she grabs a tissue to dry off an eye.
And as sadness starts to turn to despair,
suddenly a sentry falls off of his chair.
“Ha!” she laughs at her feline’s disgrace
as a sympathetic smile creeps onto her face.
She scoops him up and scratches his ears
and for a while, forgets her fears.
And though the girl thinks this cat is not smart,
he’s doing his job of guarding her heart.

This was the first poem I ever wrote on a cell phone after I received a page from a friend saying she was tired from a very active weekend. Her name has been changed to protect the innocent. ;^)

Rock-A-By Sally
©2001 Christopher M. Moody

Rock-a-by Sally all bundled up tight,
Already in bed even though it’s still light.

But the weekend was tough, and her arms they still hurt,
So she closes her eyes to dream of Jon Stewart.

Holiday Poem was written on a Christmas card that I gave to a girlfriend. Side note, I didn’t use my last name just to get the rhyme, she actually preferred calling me Moody.

Holiday Poem
©2000 Christopher M. Moody

A holiday poem full of joy and cheer,
To help you celebrate the coming year.
So hurry up! Open your Christmas booty ,
Then turn to your love and say “Thanks Moody!”

This untitled limerick as well as Sweet Curvy Girl were written on the spot during an IM session with a friend. She informed me that if she ever got drunk, she’d probably attack the first person she saw that didn’t have ovaries.  I think she was kidding…. I think.

Untitled Limerick
©2000 Christopher M. Moody

There once was a girl who was drunk,
Whose classes, she all did flunk.
So she went to get high,
then slept with a guy,
and woke up the next morn’ in his bunk!

Sweet Curvy Girl
©2000 Christopher M. Moody

There once was a sweet curvy girl,
whose emotions were all in a swirl.
So she let down her hair,
let her judgment impair,
and found a boy to make her toes curl.

I also wrote Rendezvous while I was working (in the very spot I’m standing in the picture). It was written when I was in a… shall we say, interesting mood.

Rendezvous
©1998 Christopher M. Moody

Here’s a quote from a note
intended to form a plan…
of a rendezvous with but you
and an extraordinary man.

He’ll meet you, greet you, wine and dine you,
and even write a poem.
But beware this hunter’s snare
the moment he takes you home.

For you see, this gent is me,
planning this romance
And I am, just a man
who wants inside your pants.

 

I wrote The Pick-Off when I was very bored at work one day. It’s about actually being a pick-off (a person that stands in front of a conveyor belt and pulls off boxes at UPS). This is a very boring and monotonous job and one tends to get very introspective during this time.

The Pick-Off
©1997 Christopher M. Moody

I sit atop my iron perch,
pondering all my life.
Where am I going? What’s my purpose?
Is it really worth the strife?

But truer, more basic answers
my mind will also seek.
Like will Stephanie get her ass up here
so I can take a leak.

I wrote The Stars At Night for a girlfriend some time after she left for college.  She loved it so much that she got it published in her dorm’s newsletter.  They got my name wrong.

The Stars At Night
©1991 Christopher M. Moody
(also published under the name Christopher Barnes)

I look up to the stars at night,
my mind reflects on you.
Could the star that I just looked upon,
be the one that you did too?

These twinkling flashes from overhead,
are sources for my dreams.
If I gaze upon them long enough
you’re closer to me it seems.

I ask of you to do one thing,
at night, just look above.
And when you find that special star,
please think of all my love.